The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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