I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my shit smells like andre
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
