How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Boobs speak an international language.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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