Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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