you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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