we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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