Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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