bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Randomize
