It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
