I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Houston, we have a squirter
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
