I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
