he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
