i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
