and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize