I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
