well I can't set my house on fire every night
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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