hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize