I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
