i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
