I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
