I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
