So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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