After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
