FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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