I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
