We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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