i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
