Do vagina's smell?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
