I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Shame - the story of my life.
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