And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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