Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
