Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
