plz talk dirty to me
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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