when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
