Redeem this text for a blowjob
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
