it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize