Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
