I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
