So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
