"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
