return my video game
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
