drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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