Christians are straight up FREAKS
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
