Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
