Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize