I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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