I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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