just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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