this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize