Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
