just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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