she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
