you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
