I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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