just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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