hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
