It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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