Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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