Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
