ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
